last night i bought my first smart phone. i
actually feel really grown up, which is funny bc i am 26 years old, which seems
like i should already be grown up. :)
at first i wasn't all for getting a smart phone. i
wasn't necessarily against it, but probably secretly told myself i wouldn't get
one. i don't know why, i guess i just felt i didn't need one. BUT... i'm
actually really grateful for it. not only is it awesome! but it's also been
really helpful.
this morning i was reading a conference talk on it
that reminded me of a few things i have read in a book this summer called
"real love." my roommate here recommended it and i have really loved
it so far. i haven't read everything and sort of skip through parts, but the
thing i really like about it is the way the author talks about real love. he
says that it can only be felt when it's freely offered and
received.
he illustrates this principle using a simple story
about apples. he says you look out your window and see a man walking toward
your house carrying a bushel of apples. you want some so you hurry outside and
tell him you haven't had anything to eat all day and no one will give you
anything. (he explains the first statement is a lie and the second one presents
you as a victim.)
the man with the apples starts to say something but
you dont wait to hear it before you start attacking him and making him feel guilty
by saying things like, "i hope you remember all the things i've done for
you in the past." (in reality we probably don't say those things but our
actions do no matter what words come out of our mouth.) so the man gives you
the apples, but what you don't know is that he actually picked them out just
for you!
the less is although the man offered his gift
freely (real love), you didn't receive it freely, and he says that you
basically bought the apples with your behavior--by lying, acting like a victim,
and attacking--just as if you'd paid for them with money. and because of what
you did, whatever the man gave you could not feel like a gift. if you would've
allowed him to offer the apples without your making him give them to you, you
would have felt his unconditional
concern for you.
the counsel in the talk i read by pres eyring also
reminded me of this principle.
pres eyring was talking to the men of the church,
those holding the priesthood, and he explained four way a priesthood father
could lift and lead his family towards the savior.
his second suggestion was to "love your
wife." interesting, bc sister dalton last year talked about how the best
thing a father can do for his daughters is to love their mother. so important i
think, in more ways that just the obvious ones.
so pres eyring said it is imperative to love your
wife. he said, "it will take faith and humility to put her interests above
your own in the struggles of life. you have the responsibility to provide for
and to nurture the family with her while serving others. that can at times
consume all the energy and strength you have. if you choose even then to put
her happiness above your own, i promise you that your love for her will
increase."
i really liked that and it was another gentle
reminder to me of how my own love is still very much in the working/developing
stages and that there is still much yet for me to learn about loving other
unconditionally and freely so real love may be felt. getting these gentle
reminders doesn't make me feel distraught though; actually, i really enjoy
learning and seeing these gaps because it gives me a sense of direction of
where to go and what is possible. so grateful for learning, so grateful for the
time to apply it. i feel as though my whole life has been a laboratory and i'm
just so, so grateful. :) happy DAY!
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