learning about love. :)

i don't even really know where to begin but i cannot believe the summer is almost over, at least it feels like it's almost over bc my time is new york is almost over. and what an incredible journey it has been. (ee! that is my excited squeal :D)

every single day i have been in this city i have seen miracles. and so much beauty! in sometimes very unexpected places. i feel so privileged to have seen these things. i have not been able to write them all down, but the lord has blessed me with an excellent memory and i feel that so many of them are stored securely away with the thousands of other beautiful memories and moments in my life. 

how is the lord so kind, and what does all of this mean to me? this past summer i have thinking about my love for christ. i remember my first sunday here i started thinking about this. i noticed that at church several people shared their feelings of how much love they've felt from him, and it really made me ponder on how much love he feels from me. i know that he loves me perfectly, but what about my love for him?

well, i continue to see that everyday he gives me opportunities to increase that love. my love and gratitude and reverence for christ has become increasingly more sweet and more tangible throughout these past few years, because i have learned what it means and i have felt what it is to rely on him and trust him and exercise faith in him and his infinite atonement. i think elder holland describes it really well when he said in one of my favorite talks called the "bitter cup and the bloody baptism." he said we may speak of knowing the truth or having the truth, but only one who is confronting error, however painfully or however slowly, can properly speak of loving the truth. and then he said, "and i believe that god intends us to someday honestly and truly love him--the way, the truth, and the life."

i testify that the joy that can be experienced and tasted during this mortal probation is real. for me, that joy has come through exercising faith, changing what i can change (aka, repenting), honoring my covenants, and moving forward while relying on his help. 

the gospel of jesus christ is so wonderful. i know these things are true more than i know anything else, and i am so grateful for this knowledge and peace. i still have so far to go but i am so excited for this journey. the future is so bright. i. can't. wait. !! :)