gratitude, example #7

ah! ok just one more thing. the last thing. i can't help it, i am feeling super grateful right now. ;)

this past weekend a really good friend sent me a message with just the right amount of love and advice i needed. and a video that talks about deep beauty, or what true beauty really means. i really liked it. and wanted to share.

gratitude, example #6

example #6. ok i have to go to bed soon, BUT i really wanted to share this last example! i am SO incredibly grateful for my BODY! woo the body! just kidding, but actually i am so grateful for a healthy body. i don't always take care of my body as i should, but when i do, IT IS AMAZING. it honestly makes me so happy and reminds me how closely linked our body is to our spirit. they are one. i made a goal to exercise more this year, and particularly to become stronger. and guess what.. i'm getting stronger! who would've thought! it's like a miracle. i can't even believe it (emphasis on "i"). but it's a principle i'm still striving to learn--to take care of what the lord has given me. again, i'm grateful for the opportunity to learn, which i guess leads me to the very last thought. 


brad wilcox said in his talk "his grace is sufficient" that when a young pianist hits a wrong notes, or many wrong notes, we don't say that he's not worthy to keep practicing. applying to to my life and probably the lives of all of us, i know that sometimes we hit wrong notes in our life and it's just flat out discouraging. and i know at those times it's easy to give up, especially when we keep hitting the same wrong note over and over. i think that discouragement is linked at least sometimes to our feeling that we aren't worthy to keep trying, and i think that is evident when after people give up they turn completely the opposite way.


the point is i'm grateful for my body--it is a temple. 


i'm grateful for the chance to hit wrong notes but to keep practicing. :)


ps--did you know: that if you want to get stronger lifting weights you lift heavier weights less amount of times (which is exactly the opposite of what i was doing--lifting less heavy weights lots of times). the diff = HUGE! seriously! no exaggeration. a week and a half ago, embarassing, yep, i was using a machine and could only do 25 pounds. but that's ok! i'm ok with that. and i could only do that forever, forever meaning 3 months. and then after a friend told me this little secret that i didn't know about, now i can do on those same machines 60 pounds. CRAZY! i'm getting so strong, oh boy! and, another secret he shared, that i looked up on the internet, from MULTIPLE sources so i think it is probably more likely than not it's accurate, but if you eat pineapple, papaya, or tuna after you workout, you don't need protein shakes, bc they do the same thing! woohoo!
anyway, just thought i would share the good tips! :)

gratitude, example #5

example #5. i worry so often about things.. where to live, what to do with my contracts, marriage, what i want to do with the rest of my life, internships, my body. and yet everything just seems to work out. and so i can't figure out if it's good to worry or if i should just not care bc things are going to work out anyway. and i think the answer is somewhere in between. and i don't know exactly how to describe it but someone gave me the wonderful and wise advice/counsel that helped me to see more clearly how i can find my own personal balance, though it's not formulaic, just a feeling when i'm doing it. so three years ago next month i had just entered the mtc (missionary training center) as a missionary for my church. i would be gone for the next eighteen months. and i had just taken the LSAT two weeks earlier and was anticipating my grade. 3 days after being in the mtc i got my score back. ugh (that's an ugh with sadness--i was sad). it was bad. and i cried. even though i'm not a crier. and of course bc i'm a worrier, i just worried. but LUCKILY, very very early on, SOMEHOW the lord blessed me t have this realization and go with it. i just felt not to worry, that things were going to work out and if i worried about it, it would be a waste, bc things were going to work out anyway. so i stopped worrying. i exercised my faith, trusted it, and heeded that feeling. and never looked back. and then what do you know? i'm in law school. i didn't come right after i came home, bc i ended up doing something that was right for that time--taking classes to prepare me for law school in the mpa program, working at the mtc in development with the new curriculum, and then as a teacher (to show me how much i love teaching!), and then to be in just an amazing relationship that meant so much to me. which i probably could NOT have done those things, well i definitely could not have done those things had i been in law school. and now i'm in law school. SO the point is that i got from that is i just started to think, i wonder what my mission would have been like had i spent the whole time worrying about law school. luckily god gave me a great imagination and i can really put myself in situations/hypos, and i just clearly saw how much i would've missed. so i am trying to apply that to my life right now and "to be happy in the season i am now in" (thank you elder holland for those words).

gratitude, example #4

example #4. i of course have to say i am grateful for my parents. we have been through a lot together and i really believe in what elder holland once quoted, that love is what you go through together. christmas break was hard in some ways, but i guess that is just a way to learn. i am so impressed, really, how my parents can continue to love me when i am so, i don't even know what the word is, me sometimes. in some ways i find it to be a miracle. but i guess that is the power of love and especially of the gospel. i remember on my mission we would teach people that through the restored gospel families can actually be sealed together, so that they are together even beyond the veil of death--together for eternity. and i just remember how unmoved people were by that. which i honestly don't blame though. i know there have been times when i have thought i didn't want to be sealed to my family forever. but THAT is the very miracle of the gospel and of love. that through the atonement of Jesus Christ, we receive the wonderful gift that we want to be with those people--people that we have been through a lot together and have perhaps suffered together and hurt together. i'm so grateful for that love and to learn about it with first hand experience, instead of just hearing about it reading about it. i LOVE to experience things myself. it is GREAT. :)

gratitude, example #3

example #3. another thing about law school grades. so yes, a lot of ppl tried to give us comfort about grades--older law students, professors, graduates of the law school. everyone wants to give you advice about it. but i think the most meaningful (at least to me) advice came from a professor of the class that probably most people hate, easily--civil procedure. but at the end of class on friday professor wardle shared something that i personally need to hear and be reminded of.
"remember, you didn't come to law school to be in the top of your class. remember why you came to law school."
that was really satisfying to me.

gratitude, example #2

ok, so i'm going in reverse chronological order, and this one also deals with food.


example #2. 
[relevant background] so as i mentioned in the last post. grades came out on friday. i dont know how to express my feelings with a sound spelled out into a word or an emoticon. maybe --> :*/ ? i'm not sure. anyway, it has been an interesting thing to go through. and one thing i'm learning is how to just be ok without resolving everything right now. truthfully, i don't know exactly how i feel about grades, and that would normally kill me! i just want to know how i feel about things. but i'm ok with not knowing for now and just being and embracing "now," even if it's not complete.
[example of love and thus why i am grateful] all of our professors know it's a really stressful time for us and have talked to us about how grades don't matter and we shouldn't let it get to us and yes probably 90% of us will be disappointed, etc, etc. but one professor, professor jones, to celebrate our "hump day" (the day that we are officially done with the first semester of our first year) decided to make us cookies--camel cookies, with humps of course. and they are frosted with a cute saddle--all different colored saddles. i picked the colorful one bc i like a variety of colors! and i just thought it was really nice. she definitely didn't have to do it, and it took the stress off and made me feel like a little kid in some ways. 
[conclusion] another example of love and true concern. 

gratitude, example #1

so i really should be either sleeping or studying, but i just had to (or wanted to) write some things down. 


i am so incredibly grateful. how does the Lord know? he is so aware of us and there are so many evidences of his love in my life. 


example #1. i used to think i knew a lot about love/had a lot of love/showed a lot of love, not that i don't think that anymore, but the emphasis i guess recently is i've been realizing how much love i see in the people around me. i am grateful for their examples that show me in so many different and unique ways what love is. so i'm not a sugar eater, as most people know, but lately i've been having this sweet tooth.. perhaps it is bc our grades came out and i dont know other stresses that have just been building up i guess. and my neighbor and visiting teacher just happens to be a wonderful baker and when she came over on sunday she said she had made cinnamon rolls. ooo i love cinnamon rolls. and she had one left. i wanted to eat one (i had actually just went to kneaders last week and gotten one and it was SO good), but i decided to resist. well today, oh boy i wanted a cinnamon roll. so i get home and walk next door (well actually i dont even have to walk bc they are literally ONE step away), and i knock and ask if brianna is home. she's not home. and then i ask her roommate katy if she knows if there are any cinnamon rolls left.. nope. darn. well that's ok. it was probably better that i don't eat them anyway!


so i go and i exercise and i try to work on a few things, and then i come home and guess what i see on the kitchen table. a plate of cinnamon rolls. 


i just felt so much love. brianna, who i KNOW is busy herself, heard from her roommate that i came over asking for cinnamon rolls, and so she made some for me. though i am def grateful for the yummy cinnamon rolls i will be partaking of soon, the even more meaningful part to me is her love and what i am able to learn through her example of love to me. 

visiting teaching and what counts

yay! so i haven't written in a while but i wanted to share something that made me laugh today that i heard at church. it was in relief society and our relief society president was talking to us about visiting teaching and a story about sister beck. she said sister beck had gotten sick and her visiting teacher brought her some soup and rolls (yummy stuff). but then the next day i guess sister beck had to leave and would be gone for the rest of the month. and her visiting teacher was like oh no, i'm really sorry i won't be able to give the message to you. and sister beck (such a great woman and funny) said in response, "that's ok if you don't share the message, i wrote it this month." :) i just thought that was funny. and more importantly she said something to the effect of that her visiting teacher didn't need to share the message in order to do her visiting teaching. i like that. i think it teaches a good principle, and it was funny!


sister beck is speaking on tuesday! SO excited! :)

really beautiful film.

this weekend i saw this incredible movie at the international cinema on campus called aftershock. this movie has particular significance and meaning to me, but i noticed that everyone who saw it was really moved/impressed.


it's about an earthquake in china in 1976 and a family of 4 and how it affects their lives. the father dies, and the mother can only save one of her two children, who are twins--a boy and girl. she picks her son and believes her daughter also to be dead. but her daughter actually survives and is adopted by a couple. the movie then shows their different lives and eventually they meet. this movie is really so good. :) i really recommend it. except for the weird canadian guy that is just very much out of place. but it's not weird enough to ruin it for me. :)

peacegiver lessons

so i got back from break early and i started rereading this book called the peacegiver. this is another INCREDIBLE book. and i have learned so much from it the past few weeks. 

here is lesson #1.

so in the peacegiver it's basically about a husband and wife who are experiencing a rocky time in their marriage (all marriages do of course, but this one was about to destroy it). and the husband, ricky, has this dream where his grandfather appears to him and they have this conversation and learn together.

so in the dream they end up in carmel with biblical people: david, nabal, and abigail. basically david is really mad at nabal and is on his way to nabal's house to seek revenge. david and his men had been protecting nabal's animals and david feels without his help, the sheep would probably have been lost. david also feels that he could've taken advantage of the situation in various ways, but he didn't. doesn't that mean something? but despite all of this and giving so much help and consideration, when their provisions start to run low nabal refuses to help them. i think in the story ricky who is hearing about this story from the grandfather expresses it's no wonder they're mad. 

so david and his men are on their way to pay a visit to nabal. it's also noted that david is a really incredible person, but he's so outraged by nabal's actions that it starts to consume him and it grows and festers. (see blogpost "wolves story.") so they're on their way and they run into abigail. abigail is nabal's wife and when she heard of her husband's treatment to david she quickly gathers what david and his men have asked for, and more, because she's worried david might get upset and do what he's about to do/planning on doing. she approaches them and passes her servants, goes before david and his men, and bows down, facing the ground. 

once they have stopped she says, "upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be." 

"upon you be what iniquity woman?"

"please my lord, i saw not the young men you sent to nabal, my husband. but see, i have provided. please accept of my offering, that this shall be no grief unto thee."

(david looks at what she's got) "you take the fool's sins on your own head? you know the injustice and see us coming to right it, and now you beg for mercy upon thine house?"

"i beg for my house, yes, but for thee also, my lord, that this shall not be an offence of heart unto thee, either that thou has shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself. for the lord will certainly make thee a sure house because my lord fighteth the battles of the lord, and evil had not been found in thee all thy days. so it ever may be so, my lord, i pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid."

... "rise, dear abigail. who am i to withhold forgiveness from one such as you? blessed be the lord god of israel, which sent thee this day to meet me and which has kept me from striking you. and blessed be thine advice, and blessed be thou, dear abigail, who has kept me this day from sinning against the lord. for as the lord god of israel liveth, if not for your intercession, by the morning i would have destroyed every male in thy household."

(samuel 25)

lesson to be continued. :)

a new favorite. :)

oh my gosh. this is my new favorite. yummmmm. too bad it is seasonal! i don't even like chocolate!