The Snow Man

A good friend of mine recently graduated from Stanford Law School. At graduation, one of her professors spoke. He gave an excellent address, talking primarily about savoring each moment and resisting the temptation to always be looking ahead to the next thing. He also shared the following poem, "The Snow Man." I love poems and the personal way people express their knowledge, beliefs, and experiences. 

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Professor Spaulding Graduation Address 2014

"The Snow Man"

by Wallace Stevens

One must have a mind of winter

To regard the frost and the boughs

Of the pine-tree crusted with snow;

And have been cold a long time

To behold the junipers shagged with ice,

The spruces rough in the distant glitter

Of the January sun; and not to think

Of any misery in the sound of the wind,

in the sound of a few leaves,

Which is the sound of the land

Full of the same wind

That is blowing in the same bare place

For the listener, who listens in the snow,

And, nothing himself, beholds

Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.

Fail Safe: Debbie Millman's Advice on Courage and the Creative Life

I stumbled upon this a few months after arriving to the Bay Area. I've thought about it a lot as I've tried to figure out what I want to do and how I want to make my own personal mark on the world, my community, my family & friends. Debbie Millman in this address to San Jose State University talks about settling for the safe choice rather than going after her dreams. My own conclusion - it's a hard balance. I'm not sure that it's always the right answer to choose one or the other. I will say that I'm grateful for her strength and encouragement to believe in yourself and to be unashamed/unapologetic in doing what you love. I feel like that is exactly what I've done in leaving school to come out here and work at The Reset Foundation. So far, I have no regrets. This is where I want to be, where I choose to be, and I have absolutely loved my experience and learning/growing/living the past 8 months.

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Fail Safe: Debbie Millman's Advice on Courage and the Creative Life

--I lingered at the intersection peering deep into my future, contemplating the choice between the secure and the uncertain, between the creative and the logical, the known and the unknown.

--I dreamed of being an artist and a writer, but inasmuch as I knew what I wanted, I felt compelled to consider what was “reasonable” in order to safeguard my economic future.

--As I look back on that decision 20 years later, I try to soothe myself with this rationale: I grew up in an atmosphere of emotional and financial disarray, so my impulse as a young woman was to be tenaciously self-sufficient. As a result, I have lived within a fairly fixed set of possibilities.

--I am not profoundly unhappy with what has transpired in the years leading up to today; most days I consider myself lucky that I have a fun, secure job and a good paycheck. But I know deep in my heart that I settled. I chose financial and creative stability over artistic freedom, and I can’t help but wonder what life would be like if I had made a different decision on that balmy night back in the West Village.

--I’ve come to a realization over the years: I am not the only person who has made this choice.

--We begin by worrying we aren’t good enough, smart enough or talented enough to get what we want, then we voluntarily live in this paralyzing mental framework, rather than confront our own role in this paralysis. Just the possibility of failing turns into a dutiful self-fulfilling prophecy. We begin to believe that these personal restrictions are in fact, the fixed limitations of the WORLD. 

--Every once in a while - often when we least expect it - we encounter someone more courageous, someone who chose to strive for that which (to us) seemed unrealistically unattainable, even elusive. And we marvel. We swoon. We gape. Often, we are in awe. I think we look at these people as lucky, when in fact, luck has nothing to do with it. It is really all about the strength of their IMAGINATION; it is about how they constructed the possibilities for their life. In short, unlike me, they didn’t determine what was impossible before it was even possible. 

--We like to operate within our abilities. But whereas a computer has a fixed code, our abilities are limited only by our perceptions. 

--Two decades since determining my code, and after 15 years of working in the world of branding, I am now in the process of rewriting the possibilities of what comes next. I don’t know exactly what I will become; it is not something I can describe scientifically or artistically. 

--The grand scheme of a life, maybe (just maybe) is not about knowing or not knowing, choosing or not choosing. Perhaps what is truly known can’t be described or articulated by creativity or logic, science or art - but perhaps it can be described by most authentic and meaningful combination of the two: poetry. As Robert Frost wrote, a poem “begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It is never a thought to begin with.”

--I recommend the following course of action for those who are just beginning their careers, or for those like me, who may be reconfiguring midway through: heed the words of Robert Frost. Start with a big, fat lump in your throat, start with a profound sense of wrong, a deep homesickness, or a crazy love sickness, and run with it. If you imagine less, less will be what you undoubtedly deserve. Do what you love, and don’t stop until you get what you love. Work as hard as you can, imagine immensities, don’t compromise, and don’t waste time. Start now. Not 20 years from now, not two weeks from now. Now.

The Living Church

This is an expressive piece describing the gospel and of people as a fluid body that encounters not only growth but also pitfalls and plateaus. Also noteworthy is the observation that the culture of the church can sometimes be fixated on certainty. That is interesting to me and made me think about how often I will pick sides prematurely (without having truly thought about the issue) because perhaps I feel more comfortable when I can state a decided belief about something. HOWEVER, what I'm learning is that in some cases, I believe, it is ok to not be completely settled with troubling events, and when this happens, to just keep moving forward with faith and commitment to the church, to God, and to our covenants. 

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The Living Church

Metaphors are an inexact science. But sometimes they can capture feelings and anxieties in a way that scientific language rarely can.

In the revelation designated as the “preface” to the Doctrine and Covenants, it is declared that the Church is not only “true”—a description over which many religions have battled—but also that it is “living.”

The gospel, the revelation insisted, is a living organism; it is meant to develop and expand, to stumble and recover. A doctrine of continuing revelation is meant to inhibit staid complacency and instill ability for adaptation.

According to Thoreau, to be “alive” means, first and foremost, to be “awake.” It entails making conscious decisions about one’s surroundings, one’s talents, and one’s shortcomings, and then being willing to act accordingly. “I went to the woods,” Thoreau declared in the opening pages of Walden Pond, “because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” (This makes me think of Elder Bednar's frequent reference to acting rather than being acted upon, or most recently his analogy from an experience with Elder Maxwell, that it is better to not shrink than it is to survive.)

--But in an age of corporate personhood, what does it mean for a church to “live”? In common LDS discourse, the metaphor mostly underlines the importance of modern-day prophets and the power of continuing revelation. So be it. But it also introduces vulnerability. To anticipate change implies that change may be necessary. Yet when humans are involved, there is rarely a consensus on the nature, timing, and extent of change. (This is interesting, I have never really thought of this before...)

--Despite the numerous pitfalls, of which Pratt experienced many in his lifetime, the “organization is to go on, step after step, from one degree to another, just as the people increase and grow in the knowledge of the principles and laws of the Kingdom of God, and as their borders shall extend.” The Church, just like the average saint, grows through trial and error, through joy and pain. To halt progression is to be damned. (I completely agree.)

--It seems ironic that a gospel culture never meant to crystalize in form has become so fixated on certainty. Admitting fallibility in the past threatens to underscore fallibility in the present; acknowledging fallibility in the present threatens to undercut hope in the future. (This is interesting. I think I do this. I know that a lot of us do this. I can see how it's not exactly right. Maybe the fear is that we think that if we are uncertain or too open or tolerant, then we will be swept up by the philosophies of men. But I have found that I can be open and still anchored to my core beliefs. I also think it is good to seek for understanding. Elder Bednar also talks about how in the BOM, understanding is often linked with the heart, and personally, understanding has really increased the strength and depth of my testimony.)

--God’s work and glory is transmitted through and dependent upon His workers. Mormonism is understood best when it is acknowledged to be an eternal work in progress.

--The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is living not only because it lives within each one of us, but also because it lives through us. We feel the gospel inhale and exhale, grow and stumble. We feel the joy, and we feel the sorrow, not because we are the appendages to the body, but because we are the body itself. That fact not only makes the expulsion of crucial members from that body so painful, but it also makes commitment to the body’s healing so necessary.

--Fortunately, Christ came to redeem all those who live. To be alive implies the necessity to be redeemed. The redemption of Christ sanctifies the Body of Christ, and all living bodies therein. Awakening to our own vulnerability—our personal, communal, and institutional vulnerabilities—is not only the essence of being alive, but also the essence of being Christian.

Finding Joy Through Loving Service

I read this last night after a long run and felt like it applied so well to the things I'm going through. I especially loved the story about the "young merchant from Boston." I can relate and often find myself caught up in my own gold rush; however, I am earnestly working to be more aware of what I'm doing and seeking after so that I don't end up in a place I didn't want to be.

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"Finding Joy Through Loving Service" - M. Russell Ballard 

--Against this beautiful backdrop of spring and its symbolism of hope, there is a world of uncertainty, complexity, and confusion. The demands of everyday life—education, jobs, raising children, Church administration and callings, worldly activities, and even the pain and sorrow of unexpected illness and tragedy—can wear us down. How can we free ourselves from this tangled web of challenges and uncertainties to find peace of mind and happiness? (I have certainly felt this lately and am almost surprised how easy it is to get swept up and distracted and consumed with things that feel urgent and pressing but may not be as important as they seem to be, especially with an eternal perspective.)

--Oftentimes we are like the young merchant from Boston, who in 1849, as the story goes, was caught up in the fervor of the California gold rush. He sold all of his possessions to seek his fortune in the California rivers, which he was told were filled with gold nuggets so big that one could hardly carry them. (Again, I can totally relate - sometimes, I feel as though I am very much caught up in the fervor of success and innovation and praise/popularity.)

--Day after endless day, the young man dipped his pan into the river and came up empty. His only reward was a growing pile of rocks. Discouraged and broke, he was ready to quit until one day an old, experienced prospector said to him, “That’s quite a pile of rocks you are getting there, my boy.”

--The young man replied, “There’s no gold here. I’m going back home.”

--Walking over to the pile of rocks, the old prospector said, “Oh, there is gold all right. You just have to know where to find it.” He picked two rocks up in his hands and crashed them together. One of the rocks split open, revealing several flecks of gold sparkling in the sunlight.

--Noticing a bulging leather pouch fastened to the prospector’s waist, the young man said, “I’m looking for nuggets like the ones in your pouch, not just tiny flecks.” (This reminds me of an article I read recently in the NYT about unhappiness and not getting what we want. I wonder how to shoot for the stars but still be humble enough in my desires that I don't end up feeling unsatisfied or extremely disappointed.)

--The old prospector extended his pouch toward the young man, who looked inside, expecting to see several large nuggets. He was stunned to see that the pouch was filled with thousands of flecks of gold.

--The old prospector said, “Son, it seems to me you are so busy looking for large nuggets that you’re missing filling your pouch with these precious flecks of gold. The patient accumulation of these little flecks has brought me great wealth.”

--Brothers and sisters, the gospel of Jesus Christ is simple, no matter how much we try to make it complicated. We should strive to keep our lives similarly simple, unencumbered by extraneous influences, focused on those things that matter most.

--I believe there is one simple but profound—even sublime—principle that encompasses the entirety of the gospel of Jesus Christ. If we wholeheartedly embrace this principle and make it the focus of our lives, it will purify and sanctify us so we can live once again in the presence of God.

--“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 22:36–40).

--The love the Savior described is an active love. It is not manifested through large and heroic deeds but rather through simple acts of kindness and service. (YES!)

--I remember as a bishop working alongside several active members of my ward as we cleaned out the silage pit at the stake welfare farm. This was not a pleasant assignment! A less-active brother who had not been to church for many years was invited to join with us. Because of the love and fellowship he felt with us as we worked and talked in that smelly silage pit, he came back to church and was later sealed in the temple to his wife and his children. Our fellowship through service has blessed his children, grandchildren, and now great-grandchildren. Many of them have served missions, have married in the temple, and are raising an eternal family—a great work wrought by a simple act, a small fleck of gold.

--In all of our service, we need to be sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. The still, small voice will let us know who needs our help and what we can do to help them.

--President Thomas S. Monson has counseled:

“The needs of others are ever present, and each of us can do something to help someone. … Unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives” (“What Have I Done for Someone Today?” Liahona andEnsign, Nov. 2009, 85).

The prophet Mormon taught us the supreme importance of this gift and told us how we can receive it: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure” (Moroni 7:48).