gratitude, example #5

example #5. i worry so often about things.. where to live, what to do with my contracts, marriage, what i want to do with the rest of my life, internships, my body. and yet everything just seems to work out. and so i can't figure out if it's good to worry or if i should just not care bc things are going to work out anyway. and i think the answer is somewhere in between. and i don't know exactly how to describe it but someone gave me the wonderful and wise advice/counsel that helped me to see more clearly how i can find my own personal balance, though it's not formulaic, just a feeling when i'm doing it. so three years ago next month i had just entered the mtc (missionary training center) as a missionary for my church. i would be gone for the next eighteen months. and i had just taken the LSAT two weeks earlier and was anticipating my grade. 3 days after being in the mtc i got my score back. ugh (that's an ugh with sadness--i was sad). it was bad. and i cried. even though i'm not a crier. and of course bc i'm a worrier, i just worried. but LUCKILY, very very early on, SOMEHOW the lord blessed me t have this realization and go with it. i just felt not to worry, that things were going to work out and if i worried about it, it would be a waste, bc things were going to work out anyway. so i stopped worrying. i exercised my faith, trusted it, and heeded that feeling. and never looked back. and then what do you know? i'm in law school. i didn't come right after i came home, bc i ended up doing something that was right for that time--taking classes to prepare me for law school in the mpa program, working at the mtc in development with the new curriculum, and then as a teacher (to show me how much i love teaching!), and then to be in just an amazing relationship that meant so much to me. which i probably could NOT have done those things, well i definitely could not have done those things had i been in law school. and now i'm in law school. SO the point is that i got from that is i just started to think, i wonder what my mission would have been like had i spent the whole time worrying about law school. luckily god gave me a great imagination and i can really put myself in situations/hypos, and i just clearly saw how much i would've missed. so i am trying to apply that to my life right now and "to be happy in the season i am now in" (thank you elder holland for those words).