peacegiver lessons

so i got back from break early and i started rereading this book called the peacegiver. this is another INCREDIBLE book. and i have learned so much from it the past few weeks. 

here is lesson #1.

so in the peacegiver it's basically about a husband and wife who are experiencing a rocky time in their marriage (all marriages do of course, but this one was about to destroy it). and the husband, ricky, has this dream where his grandfather appears to him and they have this conversation and learn together.

so in the dream they end up in carmel with biblical people: david, nabal, and abigail. basically david is really mad at nabal and is on his way to nabal's house to seek revenge. david and his men had been protecting nabal's animals and david feels without his help, the sheep would probably have been lost. david also feels that he could've taken advantage of the situation in various ways, but he didn't. doesn't that mean something? but despite all of this and giving so much help and consideration, when their provisions start to run low nabal refuses to help them. i think in the story ricky who is hearing about this story from the grandfather expresses it's no wonder they're mad. 

so david and his men are on their way to pay a visit to nabal. it's also noted that david is a really incredible person, but he's so outraged by nabal's actions that it starts to consume him and it grows and festers. (see blogpost "wolves story.") so they're on their way and they run into abigail. abigail is nabal's wife and when she heard of her husband's treatment to david she quickly gathers what david and his men have asked for, and more, because she's worried david might get upset and do what he's about to do/planning on doing. she approaches them and passes her servants, goes before david and his men, and bows down, facing the ground. 

once they have stopped she says, "upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be." 

"upon you be what iniquity woman?"

"please my lord, i saw not the young men you sent to nabal, my husband. but see, i have provided. please accept of my offering, that this shall be no grief unto thee."

(david looks at what she's got) "you take the fool's sins on your own head? you know the injustice and see us coming to right it, and now you beg for mercy upon thine house?"

"i beg for my house, yes, but for thee also, my lord, that this shall not be an offence of heart unto thee, either that thou has shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself. for the lord will certainly make thee a sure house because my lord fighteth the battles of the lord, and evil had not been found in thee all thy days. so it ever may be so, my lord, i pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid."

... "rise, dear abigail. who am i to withhold forgiveness from one such as you? blessed be the lord god of israel, which sent thee this day to meet me and which has kept me from striking you. and blessed be thine advice, and blessed be thou, dear abigail, who has kept me this day from sinning against the lord. for as the lord god of israel liveth, if not for your intercession, by the morning i would have destroyed every male in thy household."

(samuel 25)

lesson to be continued. :)

it's the most wonderful time of the year :)

i love the arbinger institute! it's amazing. everytime i read i learn something i have NEVER thought of before and it is really refreshing.


today i'm reading about forgiveness, which i think is good to think about this time of year. and to share something a little personal, a few years ago i received a blessing from a really wonderful friend, and in that blessing he said something so specific to me. he told me i needed to forgive the people in my life i hadn't forgiven already. really? there are people that i haven't forgiven? who is that? i don't have any grudges or hard feelings against anyone. do i have hard feelings against someone? that's what i was thinking as the words were coming out and sinking into my head. 


and then almost as if in answer to my question came the words, "the people you need to forgive in your life are you parents." 


no way! really? crazy, i didn't even know i was upset with them? i don't feel like i am. 


so that happened several years ago, i think it was 2008, or maybe even 2007. but then a few months ago i was in church and we were reading in the new testament, and i learned this really interesting thing about forgiveness, and what giving our forgiveness may involve.


2 Corinthians 2:7-8
7| so that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, AND comfort him, lest perhaps [or else] such a one [the person you haven't forgiven] should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow.
8| wherefore i beseech you [and now this forgiveness involves] that ye would confirm your love toward him.


interesting. and what i personally learned from that is in order to forgive other, my parents, i not only need to forgive them, but part of forgiving is confirming (i love that word confirm) my love for them to them. which honestly i am not always very good it. but it is something to learn and i am grateful for a life to learn it.


anyway, here is what arbinger says about forgiveness that i really liked that adds a few other thoughts/ideas..
when we forgive genuinely, those we formerly accused suddenly become real for us. we sense their insecurity and anxiety; we perceive something of their struggle to show themselves as worthy and acceptable. . . . 


you can see that in an unexpected and odd way we owe to the people we are able to forgive a very large debt. no matter how reprehensibly they may have treated us, they have provided us with a gift. the gift is their humanity. without their humanity to which we are able to open ourselves, we cannot get ourselves emotionally unstuck no matter how we might try. we cannot do it by denying or repressing our feelings or by willing ourselves to feel differently--feelings are subject to our indirect but not our direct control. we are able to do it only by recognizing, respecting, and yes, revering other as they reallya re, in the fullness of their humanity and vulnerability.


SO good. :)

a wonderful example.

I just saw this video and really liked it. I am so amazed by the power of love and forgiveness!

Watch here.