I stumbled upon this a few
months after arriving to the Bay Area. I've thought about it a lot as I've
tried to figure out what I want to do and how I want to make my own personal
mark on the world, my community, my family & friends. Debbie Millman in
this address to San Jose State University talks about settling for the safe
choice rather than going after her dreams. My own conclusion - it's a hard
balance. I'm not sure that it's always the right answer to choose one or the
other. I will say that I'm grateful for her strength and encouragement to
believe in yourself and to be unashamed/unapologetic in doing what you love. I
feel like that is exactly what I've done in leaving school to come out here and
work at The Reset Foundation. So far, I have no regrets. This is where I want
to be, where I choose to be, and I have absolutely loved my experience and
learning/growing/living the past 8 months.
...
--I lingered at the
intersection peering deep into my future, contemplating the choice
between the secure and the uncertain, between the creative and the logical,
the known and the unknown.
--I dreamed of being an
artist and a writer, but inasmuch as I knew what I wanted, I felt
compelled to consider what was “reasonable” in order to safeguard my
economic future.
--As I look back on that
decision 20 years later, I try to soothe myself with this rationale: I grew up
in an atmosphere of emotional and financial disarray, so my impulse as
a young woman was to be tenaciously self-sufficient. As a result, I have
lived within a fairly fixed set of possibilities.
--I am not profoundly unhappy with what has transpired in the years leading up to today; most
days I consider myself lucky that I have a fun, secure job and a good
paycheck. But I know deep in my heart that I settled. I chose
financial and creative stability over artistic freedom, and I can’t help but
wonder what life would be like if I had made a different decision on that balmy
night back in the West Village.
--I’ve come to a realization
over the years: I am not the only person who has made this choice.
--We begin by worrying we
aren’t good enough, smart enough or talented
enough to get what we want, then we voluntarily live in this paralyzing
mental framework, rather than confront our own role in this paralysis. Just
the possibility of failing turns into a dutiful self-fulfilling prophecy. We
begin to believe that these personal restrictions are in fact, the fixed
limitations of the WORLD.
--Every once in a while - often when we least expect it - we encounter
someone more courageous, someone who chose to strive for that which
(to us) seemed unrealistically unattainable, even elusive. And we
marvel. We swoon. We gape. Often, we are in awe. I think we look at these
people as lucky, when in fact, luck has nothing to do with it. It
is really all about the strength of their IMAGINATION; it is about how
they constructed the possibilities for their life. In short, unlike me,
they didn’t determine what was impossible before it was even possible.
--We like to operate within
our abilities. But whereas a computer has a fixed code, our abilities
are limited only by our perceptions.
--Two decades since
determining my code, and after 15 years of working in the world of branding, I
am now in the process of rewriting the possibilities of what comes next. I
don’t know exactly what I will become; it is not something I can describe
scientifically or artistically.
--The grand scheme of a life,
maybe (just maybe) is not about knowing or not knowing, choosing or not choosing. Perhaps what is truly known can’t be
described or articulated by creativity or logic, science or art - but perhaps
it can be described by most authentic and meaningful combination of the two:
poetry. As Robert Frost wrote, a poem “begins as a lump in the throat, a sense
of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It is never a thought to begin with.”
--I recommend the following
course of action for those who are just beginning their careers, or
for those like me, who may be reconfiguring midway through: heed the words of
Robert Frost. Start with a big, fat lump in your throat, start with a
profound sense of wrong, a deep homesickness, or a crazy love sickness, and run
with it. If you imagine less, less will be what you undoubtedly deserve. Do
what you love, and don’t stop until you get what you love. Work as
hard as you can, imagine immensities, don’t compromise, and don’t
waste time. Start now. Not 20 years from now, not two weeks
from now. Now.
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